A few weeks ago I stepped onto my porch to see a package addressed to "Daddy" Dwyer, and I knew it could only be from a very select few college friends that are still hell bent on calling me my ridiculously wonderful nickname. This parcel came from my particularly thoughtful and generous friend Shannon who had stayed with me for a few days the week prior. The amazon gift note mentioned that her favorite Yoga instructor had given this same book to her a few years back and she thought it would be very helpful for me right now. I couldn't agree with her more. The book is called Journey to The Heart by Melody Beattie and is full of daily meditations for each day of the year. Melody wrote this book during a long journey throughout the country after losing her son. If you're not into self growth and exploration you probably won't benefit from this book. But if you're looking for a quick daily dose of re-centering I think you would really enjoy this. It's an easy read each day, the entries are uplifting and they will help remind you to be grateful for the things you have and to be compassionate with yourself above everything else. See one example below of a daily excerpt below.
July 29th: What is Your Handicap?
"What's your handicap? the golfer asked his partner. "My childhood." said is companion.
Some handicaps are physical, certain limitations placed on our bodies. Other handicaps are emotional, burdens of heartache from sad or abusive childhoods. Others may be dealing with current issues- perhaps facing a terminal illness or grieving an irreparable loss.
After losing my son, I found myself at a point where I simply could no longer stand the agony of waiting for my pain to disappear. I knew that all my life I would miss him, and I became absolutely despondent. There is no way out of this, I thought. I'm spending my life waiting for this pain to disappear so I can begin living my life again. But the pain never will disappear. And I'll never begin living my life again. That's when a gentle idea began to change my life.
I began to understand that I was living and working with a handicap. The loss would always be there. The pain and the heartache would always be present. I could accept that, treat it as a handicap, and within that framework go ahead and live my life once more. The moment I made that decision, my attitude and perspective changed. I was able to go on, able to move forward.
Many of us are living with handicaps. Some will change over time, but others won't. if that's the case, stop waiting for your handicap to disappear. Instead, decide to live with it. Work around it. Treat yourself with care, with gentleness. Allow yourself to feel and experience all the limitations and emotions of your present situation. Accept them. Let them be part of you, part of your experience.
Despite living with a handicap, go ahead and treat yourself to life.
-Melody Beattie, Journey to the Heart
We are all living with handicaps in our lives. A breakup, the loss of a job, not being happy with the way we look, being spread too thin at work; every one's handicaps are unique and important. Most of the time we are waiting for those to disappear so that we can be happy. The problem in that is that if we are always waiting for a circumstance to change in order to be happy, we will find something else that needs changing in order to be happy once the first circumstance changes, and so on and so on. What handicaps do you have that you can forgive yourself for and learn to live with happily?
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