Kendra's Favorite Things

"The irony of love is loving the right person at the wrong time, having the wrong person when the time is right, and finding out that you love someone right after that person has walked out of your life. Sometimes you think you’re already over a person, but when you see them smile at you, you suddenly realize that you’re just pretending to be over them, just to ease the pain of knowing that they will never be yours again. For some, letting go is one way of expressing how much they love a person, but for others it’s holding on to that special feeling as long as possible before it fades away. Most relationships tend to fail not because of the absence of love, love is always present, it’s just that one was being loved too much and the other wasn’t being loved enough. We all know that the heart is the center of the body, but it beats on the left. maybe that’s the reason why the heart is not always right. Most often, we fall in love with the person we think we love only to discover that for them, we are just a pass time, while the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or a stranger. So here’s a piece of advice: let go when you are hurting too much. Give up when you or the other believes love isn’t enough, and move on when things are not like before. there is someone out there who will honestly love you, and only then will you know true love. "

As many of you know I love to write. I have been thinking about writing a book for women who are in similar situations as I have found myself in over the years! Here is a sneak peak at the Prelude to my book which I intend to entitle "Stuck in the Middle with You: A"Single" Girl's Guide to a Rock and a Hard Place.

Every love story has a few commonalities; there is normally a beginning, middle and an end. For most Love Stories the beginning is normally made up of all rainbows and butterflies. It starts something along the lines of “Boy meets girl, falls in love and sweeps girl off her feet.” (or at least that’s what many women ultimately hope for).

Then comes the “middle”, and just as any middle child knows this is the part that may not always be the most fun, but it’s certainly the most important. This is the part that makes or breaks any relationship; it’s not new anymore but you’re still not to the comfort level of knowing that this person is yours forever. The middle usually presents some level of turmoil which the main characters of any love store either a) get through which then leads to an ending of happily ever after or b) they break up, which then leads to the end (period).

Many of us however are not this lucky in our own love stories. And while everything seems to be perfectly clear on the big screen, sometimes in real life the beginning isn’t so clear, nor is the middle, and sometimes it’s the end that gets us really confused.

For the past year and a half I have been writing my own love story, or at least another volume in the love stories of my life. It has not been an easy one to follow, for me, for him, or for any of our family or friends for that matter. In this book you’ll be given the chance to associate with an all too common "underdog" (yours truly). The girl who met who she thought was “the one”, but was placed by him into the “I do love you but I’m not ready to commit to you” category. Please follow me on my journey though the past year and a half of my life as I reflect upon trying to figure out what went wrong, what went right, what I learned about love and friendship through it all and where this particular love story might be headed.

Although I'll never be one to complain about my life,  as I am fully aware at how amazing it is. I am also the type of person who is always striving to be better. A better friend, a better sister, daughter, cousin, niece, granddaughter etc., better runner, better Sales Manager, better volunteer- that should give you a pretty clear picture of the things that are important to me in my life. I've been working on goals for the last year and over the course there have been many great accomplishments but there have also been some set backs, but lately for the past month- things have been going really well and I feel great about it. As Audrey Hepburn always said- "Happy Girls are the prettiest."

Last night we had a surprise party to congratulate Lindsey for her new job that she starts tomorrow. We had such a fun time and she was COMPLETELY surprised. I've never seen her so happy, just surrounded by so many people that she loves and everyone was there to support her and celebrate her accomplishment.  It is always so nice to feel loved and recognized and I'm happy that Lindsey got her fill of that last night!!

I've been very lucky throughout my life to have been on some really amazing vacations with my family, and of course there are those that stick out more than others as favorites (particularly our two week stint to St. John in the US Virgin Islands...aaahhhhh). But this past weekend we went to Sedona as a family and had a great time. The only thing missing was my Dad, he wasn't feeling well so had to stay home (I don't think I've ever seen him this sick in my entire life). Although I was bummed not to have my Papa Bear there with us (since he does make up 50% of the Can-Do Crew). We managed to have fun without him. We went on a family (and by Family I mean the Dwyers and the Roeders) kayaking/wine tasting trip, yep that's right, leave it to us to incorporate drinking into anything- even a Kayak ride. We had great dinners, relaxed by the pool and just had some great family time. I love weekends like that because it reminds me how incredibly lucky I am to have such an amazing relationship with my family. I guess I've never known anything different so I don't have anything to compare it to, but it's just such a great feeling to have people that always love me and know that we have such a wonderful time with each other. Couldn't ask for anything more....

I've been thinking a lot about change lately and whether or not it's possible for people to really change. I have been through several experiences that have lead me to believe that people are capable of changing, but I think the important thing to remember is that this is something people have to decide to do and actively work at, on their own terms. If someone does not want to change, or is not ready to make changes in their life it is simply impossible. The hard pad is realizing that no matter how much energy we put into a situation or a person, at the end of the day we have to be able to understand that WE cannot change that other person, they must do that for them self. The only actions and reactions that we have control over are our very own.....

I guess it's clear that I live in the right city... I've been in the beautiful Pacific Northwest for the past few days for work. It was actually a lot of fun, I got to know some really great clients, we took them to dinner at a super cute restaurant in Portland and then to a Baseball game at Safeco Field in Seattle last night. The hotel rooms were great, the food and libations were abundant and a good time was had by all, but when I touched down in San Diego today it sure felt good to be HOME! I remember when I was living in Phoenix I would dread going home, even if it was from somewhere not so fun for work, like the middle of Alabama. Now I know I live in the right place and keep myself surrounded by the right people, because although I had a great time in Portland and Seattle.... I am so happy to be back home. Lindsey is on her way over and we are heading out to our favorite Sushi spot for some sushi and sake. Ahhhh..... It's good to be back.

1. Aviators, check. 
2. Espadrille Wedges, check.
3. Fidora, check.
4. Oversized tote, check.
5. Romper, check.

Jennifer and I went out dancing last night and had an absolute blast....... we were just being silly girls, laughing, having fun, dancing and being well, us! We walked from the car up to Syrah for a glass of wine and on the walk I think Jennifer got proposed to about 4 times. It was great to go out and have a blast with my roomie, I think we both needed a fun girl's night out.

This weekend is very special because it gives us the opportunity to recognize the most important women in our lives.... our mamas!!! This Mother's day I am of course spending it with my mother.... who as everyone  knows is the most amazing woman in the world to me. But I also get to spend it with Shelly... my San Diego mom, yahoo!!! Happy Mother's day to all  you amazing, hot mamas out there!

This is something that so many of us struggle with on a daily basis. One thing I've always tried to do with the people that I care about is help them stay motivated with the things they want to accomplish. It's easy to offer encouragement to those who really need it and accept it. I love it when people recognize the things I've set out to do and eventually accomplished so i love being able to pay it forward!
"Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do." ~John Wooden

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

So, we've been in our new place for about a month and I couldn't be happier. Jennifer and I have been having a BLAST living in our new place together. We make each other breakfast, have dinner together, go for runs and walks and just have fun doing nothing. It's been so nice to have a roommate and not having to be at home alone all the time. This weekend Matt's out of town so it's been just the girls and we've had a relaxing and fun weekend. Today we are going to the Pool Party at the Hard Rock for some fun in the sun!

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay..

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't 'be friends'. A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is
Don't stay because you think 'it will get better'
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.


Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything.* He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior.* Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...
Even if he has more education or in a better job.

Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending....
Compromise is two way street..

You need time to heal between relationships....
There is nothing cute about baggage....
Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...
A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals....
Look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.*
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful.

You should know that:
You're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only one.

They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices.
Make the right one.

Ladies take care of your own hearts....
Share this with other women and men (just so they know)...
You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare

While today is a very sad day for me because it marks the one year anniversary of my Grandmother passing, it is also a happy day. April 19th was my Grandparent's wedding anniversary and so it was also the day they were reunited when my grandmother passed after she had been alone for close to 30 years. I know that they are both looking down on us and happy to be together. I never had the chance to meet my Grandfather, but I know how much everyone loved him and wish I could have. I miss my Grandmother every day but know that she's just happy to be with her husband! Above is a picture from their wedding day.

They say life isn't about figuring out who you are, it's about creating who you want to be. I couldn't agree with that more. Over the years we're all faced with situations that define who we are, it's what we do with them and how we learn from them that turns us into the people we want to be. I'm pretty satisfied with who I am, and I believe that everything happens for a reason. Here's to another day of getting closer to who I want myself to be.

If I ruled the world, nobody would be hungry or homeless. Everyone would have a roof over their head at night and enough to eat. I would place less importance on what people appear to be on the outside, and more importance on who they truly are on the inside. Women would feel less pressure to be thin and look perfect all the time, men would appreciate women for the beauty of their bodies, all shapes and sizes. People would treat each other with respect and understand that while we all have differences we are entitled to our own opinions and should be mindful of others as well. Just a few things I'd change, I guess I can start by living this way myself.... I may only be 5'2" but who's to say I can't change the world.

So the move is over, well at least all the stuff is in our new place. Everything is coming together but it is interesting how things seemed to have come out of the woodwork during this move. I guess because I had been in my last place for almost 4 years, but man, oh man do I have some clothes. In all reality I do not need to go shopping for a LONG time. I have enough shoes, dresses, and handbags to last a lifetime. It was  good reminder at how fortunate I really am, and that there is no need for me to go out and buy anything new... there's just simply no room in the new place!

Kiki was out and about today and sent me this photo... she said she found it at a store... I might need to find out exactly where and purchase it... too cute!

Too many people are searching. Searching for each other. Searching for their selves. Searching for something lost, in hopes of getting it back again. And many are searching for happiness. What I say is that whatever your searching for, don’t. Chances are it’s gonna come back to you on it’s own. If it really belonged to you, it will come back. Fate has it’s way in the oddest places.